where did the old me go?

A few weeks ago a friend of mine said she was having a get together for a tarot reading. She said that there was an open spot and wanted to know if I was interested in taking it. Now I know what you are thinking…tarot reading?? I know there are some of you that are skeptic of psychics or mediums and that’s okay. However, I do believe there are people who have the ability to talk to the “dead”. I believe there are spirits around us.

Anyways, the tarot reader only had a limit of 6 people to read that night. I was one of those 6. I hadn’t seen a psychic in over 2 years, and I was excited to be read. I have been to a few readings in the past and for some reason this reading made me emotional. I have never cried in a reading before. I couldn’t believe how she said things I needed to hear. Shannon (the reader) told me to believe in signs I have been given but have denied them. She mentioned about one sign in particular, about how spirits leave coins, for example; pennies. She said that it’s sad we don’t have pennies anymore (because we don’t make them in Canada) and they won’t be able to drop pennies as a sign. She also told me I have 7 people around me all the time to help guide and protect me. She went on and on.

The next day I felt I needed to tell my sister how my reading went. She was unable to chat with me right away, so I sent her the recording of my reading to see what she thought and we would catch up when she could.

She called me that evening lol. She understood what Shannon said the cards told me. She said she cried when she listened because she could hear the emotion in my voice and laughed because I asked a silly question. Then our conversation turned into about the past. She talked about what I was like before I had my surgery in 2004 (for my mitral valve). She said I was a very serious person, and they were careful what they could say to me. For example; they couldn’t joke around me because I would take it personally. I would get angry with the person for days even sometimes months!

When she was saying this to me, I couldn’t believe I forgot that is exactly what I was like! Then she continued to say after my surgery I was a totally different person. I looked at “life is too short” and did all the things I wanted to the fullest. I was happy, always telling people I loved them, and hugged them even! I looked at my life in a positive perspective. Then she told me when I had my collapse I changed again. I changed but in a different way, I am still a happy person, I just started to show signs of being afraid, and who worry’s a lot not that I didn’t always worry in the past but just even more.

I didn’t disagree with her when she told me this, I knew right away it was true. I did do those things. I do still look at life it’s short but I am not doing the things I loved. After the conversation we had, I went to bed and of course started to think about what we talked about, and I said to myself, “where did the old me go?” “what happened to me?” “why am I afraid?”

I woke up the next morning feeling very refreshed. I don’t know what it was, I just felt HAPPY! It was almost like I was a whole new person! I couldn’t be more thankful to be alive and I have my sister to thank for helping me “wake up”.

When I went to work that morning, I went to my desk and I pulled my chair out, and I noticed there was something on the floor………..it was a shiny penny! an American penny at that! I couldn’t believe it! I was shocked!! I immediately took a picture and sent it to my sister. She replied back saying “see trust in the signs”. I was in awe!

A few weeks later I chatted with my brother about this and he asked me did you see what year the penny was? I said no I didn’t even think to look at the year, I was just shocked that there was a penny! lol! I told him I would check in the morning what the year was. So I went to work the next day, checked the penny and the year on it was……………………………………………….2012!!!!

I quickly sent him a picture of the penny and he replied back saying “the year of your collapse!” I said “I know!!” I couldn’t believe it! I was in awe again! I also sent it to my sister and she asked me “what does this mean to you?” I replied back ” the year of my collapse”. Now, if that isn’t a sign I don’t know what is!!! I couldn’t believe that Shannon was right! To watch the signs, to believe in them!

I have said earlier I do believe in spirits and I definitely believe someone is giving me a sign they are here helping me.

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some say luck, fate, I say “thank you”

As I left you off last post, I said I didn’t make it to the hot tub that day………………. I am going to tell you what happened that day…………………..

You know the saying “second chance?” I had my second chance with my Mitral Valve repair in 2004. My title “some say luck, fate, I say “thank you”, well I say “thank you” because that day I got a “third” chance at life.

January 24,2012.

I remember running on the treadmill in the fitness area, at the Rec Centre and while I was running there was an elderly couple that came to exercise beside me on a couple of stationary bikes. I remember because I apologized for the heavy running noise, the elderly woman laughed and said to me not to worry, and made a joke saying that they were part deaf anyways. I laughed, still ran on. I noticed that there was a gentleman working out with the weights diagonal from me, and I still ran on. I looked down to see where K was with the boys because the fitness area was above the pool so that you could look down and watch. I noticed a gentleman in the pool that I thought was K but it wasn’t. I panicked looking around for K and noticed that he was walking with the boys. I thought to myself “uh oh they are going to the hot tub already without me” and I wanted to finish my run. I looked at the clock, wanting to know what time it was and it said about 2:38? So I still ran, knowing that I only had about 6 or 9 mins left in my run. Then I looked to my left and noticed a blonde girl coming to run on the treadmill beside me, next thing I remember was looking forward and my vision went like when a television loses connection and it goes snowy, well it did, then it was black…………

The next thing I remember was someone saying my name over and over which I later found out it was K. A few moments later I hear a gentleman saying my name and asking me if I knew where I was. I mumbled the place, and he said that I had to keep the oxygen mask on, because I remember fighting it with them trying to put it on my face and then I hear sirens. While I was in the ambulance, K was on the phone to hubby DC, telling him that I had collapsed and was on my way to the hospital. DC was in the grocery store when he got the news and he was so shocked that he dropped everything and left to go tell our children that their mom was on her way to the hospital. DC didn’t know what to do, whether to just drop everything and get to me or wait to find out what was wrong with me first, because he was three provinces away. K also had called M to let her know what had happened, and that he was coming to get her. A lifeguard ended up watching the boys,and there were a couple of friends of K at the pool too that knew the boys and took over. Which was a relief to K since he needed to rush to the hospital as quickly as possible.

I arrived to the hospital and I remember a woman saying to me it’s alright, you’re alright and you’re going to feel a warm sensation, don’t worry you didn’t pee yourself. I was having a CT Scan done to check if there was any brain damage, and a X-ray to check for any broken ribs. I didn’t have any damage to either brain or ribs. The whole time I was in and out of consciousness I didn’t have my eyes open. I then remember hearing K talking to someone about my information, my name, where I lived etc. Then suddenly it was like someone turned on a light switch and I could open my eyes! I looked over and saw K standing beside me and he says to the nurse” could you pass me her glasses? she’s pretty blind with out them” and he gives them to me. I put them on and looked over to K saying “What happened?” “What happened?”. K came over to me, cried, hugged me and said “you collapsed”. I was really shocked at this moment because I only remember running on the treadmill and now here I am in the hospital???

I asked K what had happened over and over, it was probably more than 5 times within an hour or more and K was getting worried, looked over at the nurse and she said it was normal for people to have a little amnesia. K explained as much as he could about what had happened…….

K said when I collapsed, the elderly couple noticed that I had fallen in between the treadmills and was unconscious, so the elderly woman rushed to get help. A lifeguard came and started CPR, while the lifeguard was doing CPR there was another one getting the AED kit. The lifeguard with the AED kit came opened it up and it had said that it was needed. My heart had stopped. They put the AED on me used it. It brought me back. All of this happened less than 2 minutes. Another lifeguard had called 911 and the ambulance was on their way. Ambulance came. Ambulance took me to the hospital.

So, you can call it luck, fate for that day but…..

I say “thank you” because those lifeguards saved my life and gave my third chance.


the change

From the last post I had said that we had a change in 2007, the change started actually in 2006 when my hubby decided he needed a career change and it was something that he has always wanted to do, but because of marriage, kids etc he wasn’t able to do this career change until June 2006.

DC (hubby) had wanted to apply for the government, he did all the testing that was required and passed with flying colors. He got the official word that he would be hired, which wasn’t until Feb 19,2007! Yes I know what you’re thinking, that was a long process, and yes it was! Anyways, when he got the official date that he would be hired, he had to go for training. When finished he would have to move from Alberta to Manitoba where he would work.

Needless to say , we weren’t all that happy to move two provinces away. Since we had lived in Alberta for just about 17 yrs! The kids (which we have 2 girls and a boy, C 15 yrs, D 12 yrs and E 7 yrs) had been born where we were , went to school since Kindergarten, had lots of family and friends. Where as we didn’t have any friends or family in Manitoba. It was a hard difficult decision but we all understood that DC wanted to do this since he graduated high school.  We had moved to a rural town in south-western Manitoba of August 2007, we still live in Manitoba, and it’s been almost 5 yrs, it has gone quicker than I imagined! The kids had surprisingly settled in quite nicely, made new friends and didn’t mind living here after all!

DC & I  have made lots of friends here and love them all but it’s not like having family, which we are now trying to have a transfer to be near family due to my episode that happened to me this past January. We are hoping that the government will allow us to move and make it easier for us than doing other options.

Like I said before in the last post, I have lived with MVP (Mitral Valve Prolapse) for so many years and had surgery, went back to my regular routine again. So when we moved to Manitoba, I still continued to see my Cardiologist back in Alberta since I had seen him for so long that there was no reason for me to switch to another Cardiologist because it was only once a year, and Manitoba Health was going to allow me to see him once a year. Again every year that we have been here in Manitoba, the same routine by my Cardiologist. When I had my surgery in 2004, I felt that I was over weight and decided to join Curves, to help me be at a healthy weight. My starting weight was 158 lbs, when I had my surgery I ended up being at 149 lbs. I had lost almost 10 lbs by surgery, I couldn’t believe it! I didn’t want my weight to start with just dropping almost 10 lbs , which I felt was unhealthy! So I went to Curves and did all the exercises and watched my calories etc. I went to Curves for almost 3 yrs and maintained my weight at 147 lbs and just stayed there! The Cardiologist told me that a healthy weight for me was around 135 lbs and not to go dramatically up or down due to my heart condition.

I found out that we had a Curves here, where we live but they had inconvenient times, so I stopped going. I decided to go to the gym instead, I even got a local “personal trainer” to help me with all the equipment and how to use them properly so I wouldn’t hurt myself. I did that for a year, I didn’t see any progress at all! My weight stayed the same, I had only lost one inch! one inch around every part of my body and I have to admit, I was very frustrated! I decided to stop going to the gym. Until a very close friend of mine decided she was needing a change herself and started using Jillian Michael’s DVD called the 30 Day Shred. She asked me if I would be interested in working out with her three days a week.

I did take her offer because I thought to myself “why not’? I wanted to keep fit and be healthy so I joined her. We did it together for almost two yrs, three days a week! I saw so much results and so did she! We had a great time doing this together, which was nice because it got us to know each other since we both had things in common. With just using the 30 Day Shred, I had lost so many inches and weight which I was sitting at 142 lbs at the first 6 months of starting the shred. At the end of our two yrs of using the shred I ended up being 135 lbs, which was my goal! I was so happy and impressed that I did it!

While I was doing all this exercise, I was feeling great! I didn’t feel tired, didn’t have hardly any migraines, loved it! My Cardiologist was happy that I was keeping my self healthy and exercising and knowing my limits.

So 2010, my Brother K, and sister-in-law M, had started running, they both signed up for runs. K for his very first run ( which I couldn’t believe) he signed up for a half marathon, M signed up for a 5 k. They both were training for their runs and did the run Oct 2010, which I was so proud of them both that they had inspired me.

January 2011, I had decided my New Year’s Resolution, and to go through with it (this time lol) was going to run a 5 k for the very first time…………