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Wow! Time really does fly…….

Wow! Time really does fly…….I was sitting here thinking what should I do since we are stuck at home with the pandemic of Covid 19 and thought when was the last time I wrote? I couldn’t remember the last time I wrote on my blog, so, I decided to look at the website and see when was the last time I posted, after I looked up the saved password to get in haha. Anyway I finally logged in and I couldn’t believe how long it was…….2015!!!! 5 yrs ago!! I couldn’t believe it! Like seriously! 5 yrs has gone by and I hadn’t touched this blog. Then I checked my “about me” page and saw this…

I am a happily married 30 something, who is a mother to three wonderful children, I married my best friend in 1994.  I am a wife, mother, who loves to run, read , learn new things, speak my mind , would love to become an inspiring blogger/writer someday, and is a Sudden Arrhythmia Death Survivor.

With this blog, I hope to reach out to people on many levels, from topics with others that suffered Sudden Arrhythmia Death Syndrome (SADS), learning to live with an ICD (Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillator), just life in general with kids, health and running.The possibilities are endless!

Thanks for taking the time to get to know me!

S

I laughed out loud when I saw 30 something, First of all, I am no longer in my thirties, I am now in my forties (not going to lie I was feeling a little bit old seeing that) haha.  So, when I have saw that I knew I definitely have to update that and thought maybe it was time to post something new too, maybe a little update in my life?? Because a lot has changed.

Like I said I am no longer in my “30’s” I am now in my “40’s” haha so if you need to do the math good luck, a woman never reveals her age. Still married, still have 3 children but 2 of them are married now, and I am a grandmother, well Omi they call me, I have 2 granddaughters and they are my world! Which I am terribly missing them due to this Covid 19 we are going through right now. Hope to get to see them and squeeze them tight soon. Now, lets see what else, Oh! I no longer run, unfortunately I am no longer allowed due to the heart and ICD, but I have come to terms with it and actually enjoy walking, (speed walking according to my kids and hubby haha) I have taken the time to enjoy walking and looking at nature more, there is so much to see when you are walking and not rushing by missing the leaves on trees or the buzzing sound of the bees in the trees or bushes. Saying hello to people as you walk by instead of saying excuse me,  you’re in my way or I’m on your right.

We have moved again in those 5yrs to another city, which has it’s pros and cons like any place you live in but when you have lived in small rural areas for off and on 20yrs being in a city is great for just grabbing something to eat or just stopping in the mall just to browse, or getting to go to the Movie theatre, to the Y to exercise or join classes, all kinds of things you can do in a city. Then again it can be a con, spending more money, getting fat because you are eating out more, buying things that you probably don’t need but you buy just because you want it. But the pro of living here especially where we are is the scenery, we are literally only 10 houses away from the Coulees and it is so beautiful. Another pro is you don’t have to drive an hour or two to get to a city to get all the things you need.

Anyways, I am just rambling on, time to move on to the next thing that has changed. I have changed careers, I no longer work in the Administrative world. I have my own little business now, I am currently a Spiritual Healer, Reiki Practitioner, Birth & Postpartum Doula. I started my little business over a year ago and started in my home for a while but I decided to move and rent a space. I moved into a space Mar 1 of this year but only got to work for a few weeks since we were shut down due to Covid 19. It was going so well too! I cannot wait until I get to go back to help give healing to people. However, I have been working on little projects to keep me busy for now until I go back. I cannot wait to share those later.

Well, I think that is it for now, I hope to update a little more often than five years…….so for now I will post this and update my “about me”

 

S

no longer afraid

A year ago today, I learned very quickly life is short.

A year ago today, I changed.

A year ago today was the last time I ran on a treadmill.

A year ago today,  I had faced something I was afraid of.

Death…………..

It’s been a fear since I was little.

A fear…… I am sure I have in common with many people.

A fear…….of not being able to see, hear or talk.

A fear…… of not being able to see my children get married one day or have children of their own.

A fear…… that no one would remember me.

I remember a few years back I had watched an episode of the Montel Williams show. He had a guest named Sylvia Browne on, I know what you’re thinking “the psychic??’ Yes a psychic haha. Anyways, I remember that episode because Sylvia had a person ask why she was afraid of dying and what did it mean? Sylvia said that people are afraid of dying because it’s not existing on earth. When I heard her say that, I thought “ya right”. But since January 24,2012, I have totally changed my opinion on death.

My sister-in-law M sent me a video of my nephews Little A and Mr.T. Little A (who was 2 1/2 at the time) had missed me and wanted to tell me, so M started to record. Little A said he missed me and wanted me to come “out of Manitoba”, and in the back ground  Mr.T (who is 5) had started to sing a song “I miss her so much, I don’t want her to leave our hearts, I love my Auntie S, my Auntie”.  When he sang that, it made me realize, life isn’t just here on earth or about seeing that person all the time. It’s always going to exist in people’s thoughts and in their hearts. That will never “die”.

I believe when it’s your time, it’s your time.

A year ago today wasn’t my time and I am still here for a reason.

I am no longer afraid of not being able to see my children get married and have kids of their own because they will tell their loved ones who I am.

I am no longer afraid no one would remember me because my loved ones will.

I know it’s not going to be easy leaving but I know my family will be okay, and they will always be there for each other. Even thou I am not going to be there physically, I will always be there.

For that I am no longer afraid…..

goodbye 2012 hello 2013

Goodbye 2012!

Finally it is over! I am so glad to see it end!

What a year it has been for my family and I.

It’s been a hard year. A year with ups and downs.

2012……… the year they said the world was going to end.

2012……… the year with the date 12/12/12

2012……… the year I learned more life lessons

2012……… the year I am thankful

2012……….the year I lost my father

2012……….the year I grew stronger

I read this quote on Pinterest

“and once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in.”

I love this quote because I feel that’s exactly how this past year has been for me. 2012 was hard, but the thing I learned the most this past year is that life is short. We need to remember to tell that special person(s) you love them, even if they say they know you do, even if you think it’s silly, or haven’t said it, or you don’t think it’s important, because if you suddenly do happen to leave this earth without saying it, the person (s) you left behind will always wonder……

Hello 2013!

They say the number 13 is lucky.

I hope 2013 will be the year of luck for my family and I.

2013……….the year we are healthy

2013……….the year of happiness

2013……….the year we never forget

2013……….the year we are all stronger

2013……….the year we will spend more time together

2013……….the year of new beginnings

Happy New Year!

My New Year’s Resolution this year is to spend more time with family and get back into doing the things I love!

Yours??????

shocked!

After all the things that I had gone thru in the beginning of the year, I finally felt that I was going to be alright! I was healing nicely and I had even decided that having an ICD wasn’t going to be that bad. Our oldest C had come down for Spring break to visit, because she didn’t get a chance to see me while I was recovering in BC, or for my father’s death. When C arrived, we had a family photo done so that we could update the old one, plus D had her Grad photos done at the same time. It was so nice to have the 5 of us together.

The next day, I had decided to make lasagna for supper and cherry cheesecake for dessert. While I was preparing the meal, I was standing at the stove making the meat part of the lasagna and I thought I felt something in my chest. I just shrugged it off thinking it was nothing, so I just kept cooking, but then I felt something again. I stopped immediately and knew that I should go and sit down. When I was at the Pacemaker Clinic they told me that no matter what I was doing whether it was cooking, showering, walking etc, and I felt anything I was to find a safe spot and sit down.

I immediately went to the dinning room table and sat down but I didn’t have much time because I had received my first shock! My ICD did what it was supposed to do when my heart needed it. The shock was very quick, and it was not as painful as I thought it would be, don’t get me wrong it did hurt and like someone had kicked me, but not what I was expecting. The jolt to the heart was so powerful it almost threw me backwards and off the chair but DC rushed over and held my legs down so I wouldn’t. I was so thankful that DC was home that day. I was in shock for some time and tried to stay calm because I was afraid it would go off again. When I went to bed that night however was hard, I was scared that it would go off while I was asleep and what if I went to sleep and I didn’t wake up? DC was so thoughtful, he knew that I was struggling with the thoughts of not waking up that he left the bathroom light on.

I had a lot of trouble that night with my heart rate. The more I felt my heart go up the more anxiety I had. The funny part of it all was every time DC got into our bed my heart rate would go up, and I would get hot. This happened at least four times. He would get up get me a cold cloth to put on my forehead, and check my heart rate to make sure I was okay. DC wanted to take me to the hospital but I refused. I am a very stubborn, and I didn’t want to go to the hospital! after all I had just been there.
As I have said before DC is very thoughtful, after all the in and out of bed, he felt that he should sleep on the floor beside me. He slept on the floor with his pillow and one blanket all night. To this day when I think of what he did, I cry because knowing he had shoulder surgery only a few months earlier he slept on that hard floor for me…..

The shock happened on March 23, 2012 @ 2:45pm. I will never forget this day. I will never forget the feelings that I had that day, the hurt, the worry, and most of all………..
the love………………….