not over it

I thought I was doing well living a “normal life”, watching my health doing light exercises. Well apparently, I am not. Why? Well a few months ago, I had to go to the hospital. I was having severe chest pains. At first when I felt this sharp pain I ignored it. I had ignored it because I thought “oh it’s nothing”. ( I know what you’re thinking….stupid why are you ignoring chest pains??) I had ignored this pain for a couple of hours. It was our anniversary, DC and I decided to go out for supper.

While we were at supper I continued to have these sharp pains, it felt like it was shooting directly to the heart. DC saw me jump one time when I had really bad one and asked me if I had the hiccups. I replied no, and said I’ve had these sharp pains in the chest. DC asked me if we should go to the hospital, and I of course said no I’m fine. But DC knew better and said he was taking me to the hospital.

When we finished our supper, I know again…stupid waiting until we finished our supper but I didn’t want to go. I was so nervous. I was being stubborn. When we arrived to the Emergency, the nurse asked what was my reason for coming in. I told her that I had chest pains. She looked at me with a puzzled face, like “really?” I told her that I have a history of heart problems and an ICD. The nurse asked me questions about my symptoms and said to go straight thru the emergency so I could be looked at right away.

We went in and the emergency nurse immediately put me in a room told me to undress so she could put the heart monitor on me. Then she immediately put an IV in, this all happened within 10 mins. I couldn’t believe how quickly they were attending to me. They told me they take any chest pain very seriously and do not take any chances. Well this made me worry, I started to panic and I started to cry because I didn’t want something to happen again. Made me think about when I first collapsed and when I was shocked. All the emotions of that made me cry and I realized I wasn’t over it. I wasn’t over the trauma.

The doctor came in and did an assessment, checked my heart, ordered a blood test to make sure I didn’t have a blood clot forming, sent me for an ECG. Nothing showed any signs of a heart attack or stroke, the next thing the doctor suggested that it might be my lead from the ICD. He said that it might be possible the lead moved and is giving me little electrical shocks.

I started to panic, I looked at DC and just burst in to tears. I did not want to hear that! The doctor said I needed a CT scan done to see if the lead moved but couldn’t do it until the morning when the tech would come in. DC and I went home for a few hours to sleep, which I didn’t get much of. I just of course worried. Finally morning came and we went back to the hospital for the scan.

After a few hours at the hospital I had a cardiologist come look at the scan results and told me that the ICD did not move! I was so relieved!! But we still didn’t know why I was getting sharp chest pains until after one of the nurses said she had similar pains but it was because she was exercising too hard. Well! It was like a doorbell went ding! In my brain and I knew! I knew why I was getting the pain! I was helping DC put boards down for our deck. I remembered, I was holding the board too long and I said to DC to hurry because it was making my arm sore.

The doctor had given me some medication to help with the pain but said if it still persisted I was to come back. After we left the hospital, I couldn’t believe by holding one board would hurt me that much and made me realize, I am still not over it and it will be one day at a time……….

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the beginning

As I sit in front of my laptop to type out what was one of my most difficult days of my life……January 24,2012. From the beginning, I had told you before that I have become to love running, and after my half marathon back in Oct, I hadn’t run for almost 3 months. I was busy working and being lazy at the same time, so I decided to get back into running right after New Years. I was feeling right back where I had started when I started running, which I was thinking that I shouldn’t have stopped in the first place but at least I was starting back up again. I only ran 2 times before that day, January 5th and 10th, because I offered to help out my brother K and sister-in-law M.

M had gotten a new job, and they needed a sitter for a short while until they found a daycare or day home to watch their two boys. Plus I got a phone call from M that K had to go to the hospital, January 7th, because he couldn’t walk on his left leg. We found out that K had a DVT (blood clot) which worried me because he is only 35 yrs old. I was so glad that I was flying out to help out on the 10th since K wasn’t to work for a few days and try to get this blood clot to thin.

I flew to British Columbia where K & M live and everything was going great. I was helping out with the boys, who I adore, helping M around the house while she was at her new job and driving too since M doesn’t drive. K took me around “touring” which I must say no wonder they call it “Beautiful British Columbia” its beautiful! with all the mountains, orchards, lakes and there is just so much to see and do!

On January 24,2012, K was off that day and we decided to take the boys to a program called “Strong Start” where kids can go meet other kids, do arts and crafts etc. So we took the boys to Strong Start and we had a great morning. It was “gym” day and the boys got to use the gym equipment like the basketballs, hoola hoops, floor mats and scooters that you sit on and roll around the gym. K even had both boys on the scooters holding hoola hoops, and rolling them around, swinging them, they were having a blast! I had fun watching them laugh and smile too. After Strong Start we headed for home and had lunch, put the boys down for their short afternoon nap.

When the boys woke from their nap and we got them ready for the Rec Centre for a swim, I decided that I was going to get a run instead because I hadn’t done any running since the 10th.  I went up to the Fitness Centre which looked over the swimming pool so I could run and watch K swim with the boys. I decided to run 30 mins on the treadmill and when finished, I was going to meet K and the boys in the hot tub.

However, I didn’t make it down to the hot tub that day…………………………………………