no longer afraid

A year ago today, I learned very quickly life is short.

A year ago today, I changed.

A year ago today was the last time I ran on a treadmill.

A year ago today,  I had faced something I was afraid of.

Death…………..

It’s been a fear since I was little.

A fear…… I am sure I have in common with many people.

A fear…….of not being able to see, hear or talk.

A fear…… of not being able to see my children get married one day or have children of their own.

A fear…… that no one would remember me.

I remember a few years back I had watched an episode of the Montel Williams show. He had a guest named Sylvia Browne on, I know what you’re thinking “the psychic??’ Yes a psychic haha. Anyways, I remember that episode because Sylvia had a person ask why she was afraid of dying and what did it mean? Sylvia said that people are afraid of dying because it’s not existing on earth. When I heard her say that, I thought “ya right”. But since January 24,2012, I have totally changed my opinion on death.

My sister-in-law M sent me a video of my nephews Little A and Mr.T. Little A (who was 2 1/2 at the time) had missed me and wanted to tell me, so M started to record. Little A said he missed me and wanted me to come “out of Manitoba”, and in the back ground  Mr.T (who is 5) had started to sing a song “I miss her so much, I don’t want her to leave our hearts, I love my Auntie S, my Auntie”.  When he sang that, it made me realize, life isn’t just here on earth or about seeing that person all the time. It’s always going to exist in people’s thoughts and in their hearts. That will never “die”.

I believe when it’s your time, it’s your time.

A year ago today wasn’t my time and I am still here for a reason.

I am no longer afraid of not being able to see my children get married and have kids of their own because they will tell their loved ones who I am.

I am no longer afraid no one would remember me because my loved ones will.

I know it’s not going to be easy leaving but I know my family will be okay, and they will always be there for each other. Even thou I am not going to be there physically, I will always be there.

For that I am no longer afraid…..

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goodbye 2012 hello 2013

Goodbye 2012!

Finally it is over! I am so glad to see it end!

What a year it has been for my family and I.

It’s been a hard year. A year with ups and downs.

2012……… the year they said the world was going to end.

2012……… the year with the date 12/12/12

2012……… the year I learned more life lessons

2012……… the year I am thankful

2012……….the year I lost my father

2012……….the year I grew stronger

I read this quote on Pinterest

“and once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in.”

I love this quote because I feel that’s exactly how this past year has been for me. 2012 was hard, but the thing I learned the most this past year is that life is short. We need to remember to tell that special person(s) you love them, even if they say they know you do, even if you think it’s silly, or haven’t said it, or you don’t think it’s important, because if you suddenly do happen to leave this earth without saying it, the person (s) you left behind will always wonder……

Hello 2013!

They say the number 13 is lucky.

I hope 2013 will be the year of luck for my family and I.

2013……….the year we are healthy

2013……….the year of happiness

2013……….the year we never forget

2013……….the year we are all stronger

2013……….the year we will spend more time together

2013……….the year of new beginnings

Happy New Year!

My New Year’s Resolution this year is to spend more time with family and get back into doing the things I love!

Yours??????