no longer afraid

A year ago today, I learned very quickly life is short.

A year ago today, I changed.

A year ago today was the last time I ran on a treadmill.

A year ago today,  I had faced something I was afraid of.

Death…………..

It’s been a fear since I was little.

A fear…… I am sure I have in common with many people.

A fear…….of not being able to see, hear or talk.

A fear…… of not being able to see my children get married one day or have children of their own.

A fear…… that no one would remember me.

I remember a few years back I had watched an episode of the Montel Williams show. He had a guest named Sylvia Browne on, I know what you’re thinking “the psychic??’ Yes a psychic haha. Anyways, I remember that episode because Sylvia had a person ask why she was afraid of dying and what did it mean? Sylvia said that people are afraid of dying because it’s not existing on earth. When I heard her say that, I thought “ya right”. But since January 24,2012, I have totally changed my opinion on death.

My sister-in-law M sent me a video of my nephews Little A and Mr.T. Little A (who was 2 1/2 at the time) had missed me and wanted to tell me, so M started to record. Little A said he missed me and wanted me to come “out of Manitoba”, and in the back ground  Mr.T (who is 5) had started to sing a song “I miss her so much, I don’t want her to leave our hearts, I love my Auntie S, my Auntie”.  When he sang that, it made me realize, life isn’t just here on earth or about seeing that person all the time. It’s always going to exist in people’s thoughts and in their hearts. That will never “die”.

I believe when it’s your time, it’s your time.

A year ago today wasn’t my time and I am still here for a reason.

I am no longer afraid of not being able to see my children get married and have kids of their own because they will tell their loved ones who I am.

I am no longer afraid no one would remember me because my loved ones will.

I know it’s not going to be easy leaving but I know my family will be okay, and they will always be there for each other. Even thou I am not going to be there physically, I will always be there.

For that I am no longer afraid…..

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7 Comments on “no longer afraid”

  1. Jill says:

    Love this one Shel! Xoxox

  2. Danielle pond says:

    You are a remarkable woman!

  3. Loving your post – yes you are here for a reason. My mom was given a 2nd chance with heart disease and am so grateful to have her in my life. I made sure Somewhere Over the Rainbow was played for her at my Wedding reception – she loved it. Grab Life & Live IT Every Day:)

  4. Oscar says:

    I love you Hun, words are words and love is cherished, I cherish every moment and day with you. Xoxo

  5. Sharalee Giles says:

    This is truly beautiful! It really touched me. I lost my mom this past June, way too young because of heart disease and a person will always wonder what is on “the other side”, but like you put it, it’s what’s left behind that defines that person, no matter what happens after we pass on. You are such a strong person and you’ve been through so much and personally I know that I will always think of you. We knew each other for such a short period of time but yet you made such a huge impact on me. I wish you all the best in the future and maybe some day we’ll meet again!

  6. I had an experience with death and I, too, am no longer afraid of it. Interesting. And glad you’re still here!

  7. Wow, you definitely have a gift with words and I am grateful that you are able to see your worth and share it with the world.


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